


Glitter and pain

by gibberish10



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loneliness, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 01:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11264799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gibberish10/pseuds/gibberish10
Summary: The world could go fuck itself.





	Glitter and pain

The soft sound of brushes over his eyelids seemed deafening in the silence of his room. The glitter seemed to hurt his eyes, but still he put it on. His head tipped back as he started applying mascara revealed bright eyes, the stunning yellow mixing with a vivid ever changing green. But with each stroke, he didn't see any of that - the brilliance and enticing sight of his unusual eyes, he just saw the dull colors swirling in together, pain and hollowness crystal clear in them.

He felt broken.

_No_ , he _was_ broken.

His heart was burning in pain and in the same it was encased in the icy loneliness of the truth that was now his life. He blinked slowly, delaying in opening his eyes and seeing the ugly scars of immortality. But make up had to be done and he had to face the world even if the world held no longer a meaning to him.

The mirror revealed a beautiful and still young face, a sun kissed color to it beautifully highlighted by a few brushes of blush. His eyes - the ones many have fallen for - were staring back at him, gold glitter mixing in with a few lines of silver glitter matted out by a perfect balance between deep bronze and dark purple eyeshadow powder. They seemed to hold the mysteries of the world and the promise of a long and interesting night, just like the small and pouty mouth, artfully glossed over.

And yet he saw nothing of this, but the broken shell of a man.

The make up seemed to hide his imperfections in a silly manner, like it was mocking him instead of making him feel any better. There was too much glitter, drawing attention like a whore walking in broad daylight, swaying her hips obscenely. The gloss over his lips was too thick and heavy on his mouth, now able to taste it as he slowly smacked his lips together. Once artfully styled hair seemed to hang down distastefully even with the tons of hairspray put in for the sake of a wave of hair falling on one side.

Yet his eyes revealed more than the badly done make up, emptiness clear in the withered green and dull yellow. He was a joke, a ghost of his past self. A small quirk of the glossed lips reflected in the mirror.

It changed _nothing_.

Green and yellow eyes changed to deep blue and his pain doubled, a shuddered sob escaping his lips. Magnus gripped the edge of his vanity table and lowered his head, his shoulders shaking visibly. He wasn't ready to face the world, who had he been kidding? Alexander might have passed away one year ago, but his heart still wept for him, his arm still reached out for him in the bed and his eyes never stopped seeing his blue ones.

There's be no Magnus Bane for a while more.

The world could go fuck itself, he was still mourning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Shadowhunters :")  
> I know I've been absent for a while now and this isn't the update you've been expecting, but I wanted to let you all know that I am still writing and will most definitely update my multi-chapters ^^/ (which I hope to be soon xD)  
> I've had a few ups and downs in my personal life which had rather left me without spark, so to speak, but I am slowly getting back on track.
> 
> This little draft is special to me because I relate personally to the emotions one could feel during a loss, no matter the kind. It's nothing pretty, but it needs to be addressed from time to time.
> 
> Thanks for reading and see you soon on Royal Affairs, last chapter!   
> Xoxo  
> Diana


End file.
